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53 images Created 13 Feb 2014

Portrait of a (Working) Mother_new Exeter edition

With enormous pressure for modern women to "have it all," working mothers strive to find balance between family and professional life. Portrait of a (Working) Mother is an interdisciplinary photographic-research project on motherhood, career and international mobility. Juxtaposing visual and narrative representations, Portrait of a (Working) Mother explores increasingly growing tensions around issues of gender equality, career advancement, and personal / professional fulfilment in the contemporary globalised world.

It also addresses identity alterations brought about by both motherhood, parenthood and international mobility. Such selfhood modifications are especially poignant for mothers raising their children in a foreign country, that entails dealing with integration, linguistic and cultural transmission, as well as negotiating within multicultural couples regarding different parenting paradigms.

Images: Marina Cavazza /
Words: Eglė Kačkutė
View: 100 | All

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  • Katie<br />
<br />
UK<br />
BUSINESSWOMAN, EXETER AND TORQUAY<br />
DIVORCED<br />
MOTHER OF TWIN BOYS (AGED 10) AND ONE YOUNGER SON (9)<br />
<br />
When my twins were twenty months, and my baby was five months old, my marriage failed and I found myself a single mum with three young children and a new business on my hands. It was then that I moved to Exeter. The children were in childcare three days a week. Those were my easy days. Those were the days where I could take charge and control over my days, my life, my business. Outside of work it was incredibly challenging. I’d always found life really easy and joyful, and I thought that having children would be the epitome of that. I’d always wanted to have children and felt so blessed to have three! So it was very hard to acknowledge to myself that I was hardly coping at that point. I eventually got the help I needed: we are very well settled now, and I am proud of the ethical values-driven business I’ve developed.  But those initial years were a struggle.
    Katie.jpg
  • Intro_Exeter.jpg
  • Emma<br />
<br />
NEW ZEALAND/UK<br />
EXETER CATHEDRAL LIBRARIAN, CHARTERED RARE BOOK LIBRARIAN (MCLIP) AND ASSOCIATE MUSEUM CURATOR (AMA)<br />
BRITISH HUSBAND<br />
MO¬THER OF A GIRL (10) AND 9-YEAR-OLD TWINS<br />
<br />
The Victoria and Albert Museum in London (the V&A), where I used to be the Frederick Warne Curator, was an amazing employer from the point of view of maternity support. I had a full year off but kept in touch with my workplace and, on my return, I was able to work from home some of the time. Things changed when the twins were born. We could no longer afford a nursery for three kids under the age of two and we employed a nanny instead. However, my nanny’s salary was still more than my net income which meant that we actually lost income while I went back to work for the first four years. But it was at a time when I had a rare opportunity to curate a major V&A international travelling exhibition and write a book, and, as a family, we decided that this was our priority. I was extremely lucky that my husband earned enough to support me and to enable me to go back to work – and it paid off in the long run as I can now work and earn at the same professional level.
    Emma.jpg
  • Tom & Lucie<br />
<br />
UK/FRANCE AND FRANCE/PORTUGAL<br />
ACADEMIC AND ONLINE COMMUNITY MODERATOR / DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER (LUCIE)<br />
SENIOR LECTURER IN FRENCH, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER (TOM)<br />
PARENTS OF TWO GIRLS (AGED 12 AND 8) AND ONE BOY (4)<br />
<br />
Tom: I applied for a Lectureship at Exeter University and got it, but we’d been to a few cities prior to that, chasing jobs. It’s part of academic life.<br />
<br />
Lucie: I did a DPhil in English Literature at the University of Oxford, but I didn’t want to be an academic, I didn’t have the vocation, whereas Tom did.  We moved in together in London where I worked in online community management, and he did an MA at King’s College London. Thereafter, because he’s an academic, I have been following his career path more than my own aspirations in life. <br />
<br />
Tom: There was an element of chance in this: Lucie losing her job, getting pregnant, and me getting a job offer at Oxford in a short succession of time set us on this path.<br />
<br />
Lucie: Being a mum became a lot more important to me than having a high-flying career. Although I was quite frustrated about having to follow him for a while, I am over it now. After all, living is a lot more important to me than any work.
    Tom & Lucie.tif
  • Emma<br />
<br />
UK<br />
DIRECTOR OF THE DEVON AND EXETER INSTITUTION, EXETER<br />
BRITISH HUSBAND<br />
MOTHER OF TWO GIRLS (AGED 11 AND 8)<br />
<br />
I knew I wanted to work in heritage from a young age and I have worked in many places, notably at the Holburne Museum of Art in Bath and the Museum of the Home in London. My mother became terminally ill following the birth of my first daughter and I provided care for her during my maternity leave. I became pregnant with my second daughter shortly after my mother’s death. Thus, during our transition from a couple to a family and from London to Exeter, I was more confined to a caring role. Since our move to Exeter, both my husband and I work four days a week and thus we have more time with the children. <br />
<br />
For my generation, even if one had equal domestic responsibilities prior to having children, when they came along, there was an almost unspoken understanding that the person who gave birth would be the primary carer and make the career sacrifice. I believe a lot has changed in the past ten years and there are different and more creative family dynamics now.
    Emma.tif
  • Kathryn<br />
<br />
USA<br />
PRIMARY SCHOOL TEACHER, EXETER<br />
BRITISH HUSBAND<br />
MOTHER OF ONE GIRL (8) AND ONE BOY (2)<br />
<br />
I was still a student when I met my husband in London. He was older and already had a job, therefore I moved to London and did odd jobs before getting married and securing the visa that allowed me to work in the UK. I wanted to do something that would keep me busy and a job that I could practice anywhere, so after a few years of being a little lost professionally, I decided to convert my degree into a Teaching Certification. When we decided to move out of London, the job in Exeter was the first that came up. I hadn't previously considered a teaching career but always loved working with children. It turns out that I am good at it and have been teaching for nearly fifteen years now. <br />
<br />
When we moved to Exeter and had our first daughter, I went back to work full-time so that my husband could take time off his job and explore a different career. Now we both work part-time, which is a good dynamic in a relationship; we both contribute financially, and both take responsibility for the children as well.
    Kathryn.tif
  • Katarzyna<br />
<br />
POLAND<br />
CARE WORKER, EXETER<br />
BRITISH HUSBAND<br />
MOTHER OF TWO GIRLS (AGED 14 AND 9)<br />
<br />
I met my husband in London where we both worked for Wagamama. He was a chef, I was a waitress. When we moved to Devon for personal and health reasons, I applied for a job at Wagamama again and got promoted to the position of manager within a short period of time. I trained new staff and I really enjoyed what the role had to offer. But after 12 years of working for a chain restaurant, I decided to leave and rethink what I’d like to do for a living. My transition to self-employed care work happened gradually and works very well for me – I work part-time, very rarely I work at weekends and, most importantly, I choose whom I work with and when I want to work. It gives me the perfect opportunity for a better quality of life with my family. I look for work that fits with my family, not the other way round.
    Katarzyna.tif
  • Maya<br />
<br />
BULGARIA<br />
SENIOR LECTURER IN SYSTEMS THINKING, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER <br />
SYRIAN HUSBAND<br />
MOTHER OF A 6-YEAR-OLD BOY<br />
<br />
Back in Bulgaria I worked in human rights with several NGOs. My husband and I met and got married in Bulgaria but spent the first year of our marriage separated; I was in Bulgaria, and he was studying in the UK. Eventually, we decided to reunite in the UK. Since then, I have been combining temporary work in and out of academia with academic studies – an MA in Peace and Economics, then a funded PhD in Systems Thinking. I was on a temporary contract when I fell pregnant and I continued to move for work every couple of years and am now on my fifth academic job, at Exeter University. As a result, my son is used to seeing me work. When he was a baby, I’d stay in the same room as him, I’d work while breastfeeding or holding him. <br />
<br />
My husband and I work together to figure out when we have pockets of time that we can spend together, and when we need to delegate tasks to each other. Moving is challenging but also rewarding – one develops and gets better opportunities when one gives up the idea of settling down.
    Maya.tif
  • James<br />
<br />
UK<br />
EDUCATION BUSINESS PARTNER, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER<br />
BRITISH WIFE<br />
FATHER OF ONE BOY (2), FATHER-TO-BE TO A NEW-BORN<br />
<br />
When my wife went back to work about seven months after our son was born, I took thirteen weeks of parental leave full-time (albeit on zero pay) to look after Ben. It was incredible being in his little world for that space of time. That said, I feel that at the moment it’s not yet expected of fathers to do so. When I tell my fellow dads about what my experience of being on parental leave was like and what I’d get up to, they recognise that it sounds amazing, but for all sorts of reasons few dads get to do it. Socially I found it a little odd... In most of the midweek classes I went to with Ben, I was the only dad in the room. Although everyone is really welcoming, I’d get that sort of thing like: “Where’s mum today?” I’d have to remind myself that I had the right to be there. <br />
<br />
A lot of the sessions that take place during the week are called ‘mother and child’ groups, so it sometimes felt a little alienating for a dad to attend. But that culture is certainly changing.<br />
 
    James.jpg
  • Clémentine <br />
<br />
FRANCE<br />
LECTURER IN FRENCH, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER<br />
SEPARATED <br />
MOTHER OF ONE BOY (8) AND ONE GIRL (2)<br />
<br />
I previously worked in Germany, teaching linguistics, which is my area of expertise. I really liked it there but found it impossible to get a permanent position in Germany, which is why we moved to Exeter. I took a permanent job teaching French language at the University here, not so well-matched to my qualifications, so the move was more for my family than my career. The lectureship started off part-time but is now full-time, which I’m pleased about. The aim now is to publish academically and find my way back into teaching and researching linguistics! Last time I tried to do that, Covid hit, stretching my mothering responsibilities to the maximum. Fingers crossed for the future.
    Clémentine.jpg
  • Muireann<br />
<br />
IRELAND<br />
ACADEMIC, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER<br />
IRISH PARTNER<br />
MOTHER OF TWO BOYS (AGED 9 AND 6)<br />
<br />
My partner and I live five hours apart by public transport. I live and work in Exeter with our two children. He works in Cambridge, commuting weekly between both cities. For both our sons, for many reasons including my desire to exclusively breastfeed, I wish I could have taken a full year’s maternity leave, but this wasn’t feasible then. Additionally, both births were traumatic. When my second son, who was born prematurely, was six months old, I started six months’ research leave during which I intended to complete my second academic book. I failed. My failure frustrated me in a way I’d never experienced before: I couldn’t do the work I was trained to do and on which I thrived. My partner couldn’t at that time take parental leave to share childcare; l couldn’t afford to extend my maternity leave; neither child was happy at nursery so we reduced them to half-days – further complicating my working day. <br />
<br />
Both motherhood and my career are immensely rewarding, even mutually enriching (motherhood has directly inspired several of my academic projects). But when they conflict, I blame myself and everyone around me. We need more channels for exploring the frustration and emotional damage that can accompany working motherhood.
    Muireann.jpg
  • Fatma<br />
<br />
EGYPT<br />
PHD STUDENT, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER<br />
BRITISH HUSBAND<br />
MOTHER OF ONE BOY (11) AND ONE GIRL (9) <br />
<br />
My first child was born in the middle of the Arab Spring in Cairo. On the way to the hospital, we were stopped by the local guards and when I watched my British husband explain to them in Arabic why they should let us go, I had a deep understanding of the difference and uniqueness of our family situation. Eventually, we moved from Cairo to Paris because my husband got a promotion, and I had my second child there. It was intense, trying to get my head round the culture and the language. It was there that I decided to speak English at home rather than both Arabic and English. Although I regret it slightly now, I feel Arabic is a language they can learn and pick up if they are given an opportunity to live in Egypt for a few years. For a while I was worried that that decision affected my relationship with my children but now I realise that we’d developed a language of our own.  Communication between a mother and her child will always achieve the same depth in any language.
    Fatma.jpg
  • Lucie<br />
<br />
FRANCE<br />
FRENCH HUSBAND<br />
LECTURER IN FRENCH, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER<br />
MOTHER OF TWO BOYS (AGED 6 AND 4), MOTHER-TO-BE TO A NEW-BORN<br />
<br />
Today is my last day on campus before taking maternity leave. I’ll be gone for almost a year. My husband will also take the six weeks of paternity leave he is entitled to. We discussed taking shared parental leave but decided against it. Because my husband earns more and has more responsibilities at work, financially and otherwise it doesn’t make sense. <br />
<br />
Our careers haven't evolved at the same speed although we came to Exeter at the same time, both did our PhDs here and work in the same Department of French at the same University. I wonder to what extent my maternity leaves and part-time work have impacted on my career evolution in comparison with his.  For the same reasons, he didn’t consider reducing his working hours after the birth of our first two children. I did. I felt I needed more time with my boys. Also, being a mom is tiring and I couldn’t face going back at full speed. However, this time round, my husband is interested in the possibility of cutting down on work and taking on more caring responsibilities.
    Lucie.jpg
  • ETH Zurich.pdf
  • ANNA, Switzerland<br />
<br />
Researcher in digital sociology<br />
Swiss partner<br />
Mother of three children, 12, 10 and 3 years old<br />
<br />
"This is the first time I speak in public about having children. As a sociologist I am aware of many studies about the biases working mothers face. But one step to fight them is by creating visibility. This project progresses in the right direction, therefore I am happy to participate. Seeing professors, at ETH and beyond, who happen to be mothers are a great personal inspiration to me. I travel a lot for work - I feel like I am always ont he move. Obviously, this is not easy to combine with a family life, but I am privileged in many ways. I love what I do and I have a fantastic partner who supports me mentally and practically."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Anna.jpg
  • Alexandra, Switzerland<br />
<br />
Research grants advisor<br />
Swiss partner<br />
Mother of a 3-year-old daughter<br />
<br />
"I use an e-cargo bike for my daily commute, which includes going to work via my daughter’s day-care. It is a convenient way to get around Zurich and it gives me a lot of flexibility.<br />
I am also lucky to have a lot of flexibility in my professional life. This comes down entirely to my team leaders, the two women who co-lead our unit. Everyone at work understands what it means if your child is sick, or if you or your partner gets sick, or your network is not available. It creates a very supportive work atmosphere.<br />
This is in contrast to Switzerland from a policy and societal point of view. As a country, it is still very conservative when it comes to maternity leave and childcare. For example, the opening hours of the kindergarten are not adapted to modern lifestyles where both partners work and want to share family responsibilities.<br />
These various situations that come about when children are very small is what forces mothers to compromise. It also makes mothers isolated, because they end up spending a lot of time on their own with their children. Creating a society where partners can share responsibilities is important, not just because they can both learn how to deal with the complexities of looking after a small child, but also because it enables mothers to not bear these burdens alone."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Alexandra.jpg
  • Monika.jpg
  • Renana, Israel<br />
<br />
Scientist and lecturer<br />
in organic chemistry<br />
Israeli partner<br />
Mother of two boys, 9 and 5 years old<br />
<br />
"The three strongest emotions that accompany my journey as a working mother are: guilt, frustration and pride. When I am at work, I feel guilty about not being with my kids, and vice versa. Yet, getting to where I am in my field while managing my home life has not been easy and in recent years I have learned to be proud of what I have achieved. I am proud of my children, my work, and my “academic kids” – the students that I supervise and work with. It can be frustrating to compare yourself to others – it seems like everyone else is publishing more, winning more prizes, and is more successful. So I am trying very hard to set reasonable expectations and find joy in every small achievement.<br />
I have been lucky to have great support from my direct supervisors, both during my PhD and now at the ETH. But I have met women who have been terrified to even consider starting a family – for fear of losing their project, for the difficulty of working in a lab while pregnant, or for not having the flexibility to take time for their children. People do not always make career choices with these things in mind, because often they do not even realize that these issues exist, until they wish to start a family.<br />
Having my first son at a young age had a large impact on my priorities and professional ambition. After his birth, I almost decided to quit my PhD. It was the support of my family and my advisers that encouraged me to continue. Ending up where I am today is due to having wonderful mentors and a supportive partner who enabled me to make choices and be open to opportunities. My husband and I have a very supportive relationship, and we now share household duties better than we did before moving to Switzerland – being here on our own (he also works at ETH Zurich) has helped us create a balanced life, although we miss our family abroad."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Renana.jpg
  • Daniela, Colombia<br />
<br />
Researcher in urban planning <br />
Austrian partner<br />
Mother of a 2-year-old son<br />
<br />
"Motherhood is a challenge – for me, both the working and the not working part. It has been a constant balancing act: finding the time to work, finding time as a family, as a couple, and as an individual. As a result, I have completely sacrificed time for myself. The most difficult thing for me about being a mother is on a very profound level, because how I define myself as a woman has changed. We are part of a generation raised to be professionally successful, surrounded by feminists and independent women. I feel guilty about sacrificing my career, and at the same time I feel guilty for feeling this way, instead of en- joying my time with my child.<br />
The guilt also has to do with a lack of honesty about motherhood in society in general. Being a mother is very idealised – of course there are moments of great happiness, but there are also moments that are really hard. The sense of guilt is also com- pounded by a large degree of “Mom-shaming”: people have opinions about whether you’re going back to work too soon, or you’re taking too long... You are working too much, or too little... On the other hand, motherhood is also universal: it has helped me share experiences with persons here from different cultural backgrounds, which I may otherwise not have met or become friends with."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Daniela.jpg
  • Sabine, Germany and Switzerland<br />
<br />
Communications Manager in IT <br />
Swiss partner<br />
Mother of a 20-year-old son<br />
<br />
"In our household, we split the work between my partner and me. I take care of administrative matters, and he cooks and shops. I have a lot of hobbies and interests, so I appreciate being able to make time for these. We do a lot of volunteering. For example, my husband and I both work in the helper team of the “Limmatschwimmen” every year.<br />
When it comes to managing the demands of work life and family life, I also have a supportive boss. This is important, because it gives me independence. I find that sometimes women need to step out of their comfort zone, and not just rely on their partners. “You do not know how to fill out the tax forms? Go and learn how to.” In my particular field, I am interested in seeing that there are more women in IT. At ETH, these IT women should have the opportunity for better networking. To do this, we created various contact opportunities and an events series, which have received good feedback.<br />
<br />
My intern, Francine, is pictured with me on this photo. Francine says: “Sabine is my role model. She is so encouraging for young people. She tells me to go out and meet new people. I am interested in physics, and she supports this interest, highlighting that there are not a lot of women in this field, and encouraging me to pursue this challenge.”<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Sabine.jpg
  • Andrea, Germany<br />
<br />
Student affairs manager<br />
German partner<br />
Mother of three daughters, 14, 12 and 5 years old<br />
<br />
"Our everyday life as a family is highly intensive and demands a lot from all of us. I depend a lot on my network for support. For most people, this network includes family, one’s partner, opportunities for care in the local community, or their employer’s policies. For me, this also includes my friends and neighbours. To illustrate this network, we have included one of our closest friends in our family portrait (Vreni, on the far right). We met while jogging in our neighborhood one day; I asked her for a favor, and she obliged. I think it is okay to ask for help. I have had experiences with persons saying that this has surprised them. But for my partner Peter and I, this has always been a very normal thing.<br />
It is a great happiness and a gift that my network gives me the space to realise my individual goals. The fact that my professional career, my personal interests and my hobbies are not only compatible with my children and my partnership, but also with my wider social environment, has almost nothing to do with myself. I am only a small part of a functioning, sustainable network of loved ones to whom I am so important as a person, that they give me the freedom to do what I want. This enables me to set priorities, and be a mother, partner, friend, daughter, neighbor, and colleague. With this in mind, the notion of achieving a work-life balance does not make sense if we only think of ourselves as individuals, and forget the role of the people around us."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Andrea.jpg
  • Ursula, Germany/Switzerland<br />
<br />
Library manager<br />
Swiss partner<br />
Mother of a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy<br />
<br />
"Balancing work and personal life as a mother is a challenge, especially if you come from abroad. I have been lucky to have a very strong support from my family, neighbours, and of course from my partner. This was particularly the case when our children were small; for some time, he worked 50%, while I have always worked 80%. Today my luck continues and I am able to have a balanced life, thanks to my team at work. We are a group of colleagues with diverse personalities, yet we really get along well with each other. This is a source of great stability as well as a positive and amiable working atmosphere. We all work part time, so we have to be flexible. I have never had a bad feeling when I have to leave early, or come in late – we always find solutions among ourselves as a team, and this is fantastic. Contact with the customers at the library counter is something really important in our work. If it is very busy, you need a break at some point, and as a team leader, you need to recognise this – I believe it is important for managers to stay close to operational matters. So it works both ways – my colleagues support me, and I try to support them as well.<br />
My team is my backbone; I can rely on them completely, and this is a blessing."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Ursula.jpg
  • Jerylee, Bolivia<br />
<br />
Researcher in forest policy<br />
Swiss partner<br />
Mother of two daughters, 6 and 1.5 years old<br />
<br />
"I love to be at home, but I love to work as well. The combination of both is what makes me feel successful. As a result, I am about to increase my work percentage. When you work in science, if you work part time, it is difficult to have a good output – writing papers, finding funding, and teaching. The system is such that, if you do not publish papers, you fall behind. Nowhere does it say that you are part-time, so how can you be successful with your publications and by extension your career?<br />
It is a compromise and a lot of work, but I manage with a lot of structure, and good organisation. We also have the advantage of both my partner and I having flexibility in our professional contexts. In our partnership, we have a good balance between our career aspirations. The family is very important to help us manage our situation, as are our friends and neighbours – they are our support network here, they understand our challenges, and can relate to our struggles.<br />
I would sum it up as follows: it is a triangle between friends, family and work. If they are stable, it works out, and I can be effective. But the different angles pull on each other all the time, making it a constant balancing act."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Jerylee.jpg
  • Shana, USA<br />
<br />
Professor in toxicology <br />
American partner<br />
Mother of a 7-year-old boy<br />
<br />
"I feel like you only have time to do two things properly. For me, it used to be work and sports – I was a high-level cyclist – and now it’s more work and family. But my strategy is that in teaching my son, I am preparing my future bike-riding partner. However, time management is still tricky. You try to find different efficiencies: what will happen without me, and what absolutely requires me to be present or give input. This is not always easy: I feel like part of my success has been that I work hard, and I enjoy working hard. I didn’t get to where I am because I am talented or clever, I worked really hard. This is partly linked to my cultural background. My family is an immigrant family: my parents moved from the Dominican Republic to the US. Although there is a real political divide about immigrants in the US right now, these are hardworking, determined people who make important contributions. My family will for sure stay in Switzerland for the time being, and that means my son will have an identity that is linked to this country. The question of how all of this fits in with my personal identity, in addition to being a mother, is an added layer of complexity."<br />
<br />
Zurich, 2020
    Shana.jpg
  • Federica, Italy<br />
<br />
Lawyer<br />
British-Congolese partner<br />
Mother of an 8-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy <br />
<br />
“Getting this job was a big milestone as I've always aspired to work for this office. Since we moved to Geneva, my husband put his career second. He doesn’t complain about this, but I feel he has gone through stages where he found it frustrating not being able to pursue his own career more systematically. Furthermore, he always faces the dilemma of either satisfying his professional ambitions or living with his family. I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't want to be away from my children for six weeks at a time. That's why, if there was one thing I could change, I’d make sure my husband could be professionally fulfilled and be with us at the same time.” <br />
<br />
Geneva, March 2013
    Federica EN.jpg
  • Satu, Finland<br />
<br />
Accountant<br />
Belgian partner<br />
Mother of three boys, ages 7, 5 and 1-year-old<br />
 <br />
“I worked in Kenya before, where I met my husband. After five years there we wanted to come back to Europe and start a family. We had decided to go wherever one of us gets a job … and it was me. I was transferred within the organization to a very interesting post in Geneva. <br />
My then boyfriend agreed to join and found a job here. We got married and have three children. I didn’t feel complete or a good mother if I didn’t also spend time with them. That was the main reason why I started to work part time, just to be with them more.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, December 2014
    Satu.jpg
  • Carolina, Italy<br />
<br />
Humanitarian worker for international organizations<br />
French partner<br />
Mother of three children, ages 7, 5 and 3-years-old <br />
 <br />
“It's been 15 years since I left Italy to work for different international organizations. My husband works in the same area. Since we both had interesting careers, we decided to follow one another in turn. And this <br />
is what we have actually done. It is always interesting to live and work abroad, but there are sacrifices to make. It is not easy for a man or a woman to leave their job, their country, their friends and to have to follow their partner to solely look after the children. More flexibility in transfer policies could make things a little easier.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2013<br />
 
    Carolina.jpg
  • Barbara, Italy<br />
<br />
Fashion sales manager<br />
Austrian-French-Swedish partner<br />
Mother of a 9-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl<br />
 <br />
“We moved here in 2007 after more than 10 years in Paris where I was working as a commercial director for an Italian fashion brand. My husband was also working and travelling a lot and at some point we became sick and tired of Paris. We already had children and we wanted to give them <br />
a better quality of life. My husband was offered a very good career opportunity here in Geneva and he suggested moving. I accepted, even though for me it meant leaving my job, my career, my everything. I agreed because I had worked all my life. I had already had a brilliant career and <br />
I felt it was time to give my life a change.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, January 2014<br />
 
    Barbara.jpg
  • Ana, Brazil<br />
<br />
Stay-at-home mother, dancer, costume and set designer<br />
Swiss-German partner<br />
Mother of an 8-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy<br />
 <br />
“I'm from Brazil. I studied architecture, but I stopped when I became a mother. It was too hard to reconcile those things. The studies weren't going very well anyway, but there was no day care either and I was very much confronted with myself. I thought  "do I try and work on my career, carry on with my studies and get a degree, or do I just enter this new world which is opening up in front of me?" I was very much divided over it, but little <br />
by little I entered motherhood completely. It doesn't even feel as if it was a choice. It just happened.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, November 2013
    Ana.jpg
  • Antonella, Italy<br />
<br />
Architect, humanitarian worker<br />
Italian Partner<br />
Mother of a 3-year-old girl<br />
 <br />
“The arrival of my daughter changed my career completely. My area was emergency response, which means that I'd get a 48-hour notice before <br />
I was on the plane and I'd be gone for at least a month. You can't do this kind of work and have a family. I've been lucky to have had two careers already, one as an architect and one as a humanitarian worker, and to have achieved something in both. It made it easier for me to accept being stuck in Geneva with a baby, not having enough work, and being supported by my partner (which is also lucky).”<br />
<br />
Geneva, November 2013
    Antonella.jpg
  • Nelly, France<br />
<br />
Midwife, public health specialist<br />
French Italian partner <br />
Four children, ages 11, 8, 6 and 3-years-old<br />
<br />
“I work for Médecins sans Frontières, at the medical department. <br />
I've been here, in Geneva, at the home office for two and a half years now. We were on-site before. My husband also works in humanitarian work. <br />
He hasn't had a permanent job since we moved here and although he is looking for it, at the moment it's fine. He has worked a lot in the last fifteen years, so it's good that it's not always him who works. <br />
<br />
Geneva, October 2013<br />
<br />
We had a chance to move to Beirut with the family for six months where my husband had a one-year contract. We came back to our Geneva apartment with four happy children who had realized how amazing their life here was.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2017
    Nelly.jpg
  • Rabiaa, France-Tunisia<br />
<br />
Project Coordinator<br />
French-Spanish partner <br />
Mother of a 3-year-old girl<br />
 <br />
“Due to my different cultures of origin, I have always cared to understand the issues to do with feminism and women. In France there is this idea that one needs to go back to work three months after having given birth and work long hours. This way, one has very little time with their children. I have taken a lot of distance from this model since I moved to Switzerland, as <br />
I think it's hard to reconcile everything. Another extreme is when women who love their work are forced to give it up because they cannot afford childcare. I see a lot of bitterness in these women and a desire to emancipate. For me, the ideal would be to reimagine parenthood and to involve men more.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, May 2013
    Rabiaa.tif
  • Anne, USA<br />
<br />
Actress, voiceover artist, presenter, writer, journalist, director <br />
Legally separated 2 years and applying for divorce<br />
Mother of a 7-year-old boy<br />
 <br />
“Raising a child alone in a foreign country on an independent artist’s salary with no family or child support has been rough. But it’s important for me that my son sees that I have a life, a role outside the home, that I am respected in my field, have wonderful friends, am interacting in society, earning a living, and following my passion, which is what I encourage him to do on a daily basis.  <br />
<br />
Geneva, March 2013<br />
 <br />
I am now officially divorced and have been raising my son alone for 11 years. My ex-husband relocated to the United States in 2011. He and his family have minimal contact with our child.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, March 2017
    Anne.jpg
  • Petina, Zimbabwe <br />
<br />
International trade lawyer, writer<br />
Single <br />
Mother of an 11-year-old boy<br />
 <br />
“If you’re an international trade lawyer, there’s only one place to be and that’s Geneva. We are an unusual family in that we all live in different countries: our son attends a boarding school in Scotland, I’m in Geneva and his dad is in Zimbabwe. I sometimes think I became an accidental mother. <br />
I was never a traditional woman in the sense that I wanted marriage and children and a white picket fence. Motherhood is something that happened to me and I’m very happy for it. I feel my son has completely changed my life in a way that being a lawyer or a writer hadn’t. He is the one person I can truly be myself with. It’s unconditional.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, March 2015
    Petina.jpg
  • Roberta, Italy<br />
<br />
Economist, researcher<br />
Single<br />
Mother of a 7-year-old girl<br />
 <br />
“I was an academic in the UK before, but the weather was so bad that I felt I had to go somewhere else. I applied for this job in Geneva and I got it! Four years after the separation, my daughter is fine and happy at school, but we, the parents, are still struggling with solving the key dilemma of sharing time with our daughter. The question is how to balance equal rights and duties between the parents without “cutting the child in half”! <br />
<br />
Geneva, November 2015<br />
 <br />
In the meantime, I have taken up more responsibilities at work and manage a “small business” at home to make sure everyone (my daughter, myself and the dog) is looked after until I come home.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2017
    Roberta.JPG
  • Barbara, Ireland<br />
<br />
Part-time PhD Student, former researcher for an NGO in human rights<br />
British partner<br />
Mother of a 3-year-old girl<br />
 <br />
“I always knew I wanted to have children, so that was a given. That was for me as important as having a career, and had we stayed in London, things might have been different. I would have stayed in the job, I would have hopefully had a job where I could cut for a part-time and it was kind of the move to Geneva that messed that up a bit. I still want to work, obviously, I want to be a good role model for my daughter, I want to have a life outside of home, but I’m not remotely as driven as I used to be.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, March 2013
    Barbara R.jpg
  • Junling, China<br />
<br />
Chinese teacher<br />
Italian partner <br />
Mother of a 7-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl  <br />
<br />
“My life was completely different when I was in China. I worked as a Chinese teacher at a military academy. It was a very enjoyable life - I had dinners out, met up with friends and travelled. I have changed since moving to Geneva. I've become family, not career oriented. My husband works a lot and if I did the same, we wouldn't have any quality of life. Now, that the children are older, I am enjoying my free time - practicing the piano, learning French. I know that I am doing good for my family - my children are looked after, my husband has favorable conditions for his career and I am not wasting my time either, I keep my options open for the future.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, January 2014
    Junling.jpg
  • Diana, Lebanon<br />
<br />
Member of the Executive Committee, World Economic Forum<br />
German husband<br />
Mother of a 1-year-old boy <br />
<br />
“My husband and I used to earn the same salary. We both have equally good careers. We could have asked ourselves who was going to compromise their career and go part-time for the sake of the baby.  Financially it made no difference, but for many complex cultural and personal reasons, it was obvious that it was going to be me. I actually <br />
like being part of my child’s life. I don’t want to be the second parent. <br />
My husband does a great job of being a father, but I want to be the primary caregiver.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, June 2015
    Diana.jpg
  • Eglė, Lithuania<br />
<br />
Researcher, journalist <br />
British husband<br />
Mother of a 6-year-old boy <br />
 <br />
“At this moment of my life, I understand that if I want to stay married to this man, I probably have to give up my career. It's a stupid choice that nobody should ever have to make, but I think I am probably more interested in my relationship with him and with my son, than I am in a career right now. I might still be able to have a job and I will not stop working-reading, thinking and writing. <br />
<br />
Geneva, January 2014<br />
 <br />
My husband left his job in Geneva almost two years ago and I was awarded a research fellowship in Ireland. We are in the process of relocating to Ireland.”<br />
<br />
Maynooth, January 2017
    Egle.jpg
  • Irina, Russia<br />
<br />
Artist and Montessori Teacher<br />
Canadian husband<br />
Mother of two girls, ages 6 and 3-years-old<br />
 <br />
“I am looking after my children and running the household at the moment. My husband is traditionally minded and happily supports us all and I love it! I also believe that men are supposed to provide for their families while women take care of the home and the children. I think that a housewife’s role is very important and challenging. In my spare time I paint. This is how I satisfy my human need for creativity. I need to paint in order to be a good mother, I think. To raise a young child and turn her into a successful person is the most important task for me now.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2013
    Irina.jpg
  • Laura, Italy<br />
<br />
Expert in audiovisual coproductions<br />
Italian partner<br />
Mother of two girls, ages 9 and 7-years-old<br />
 <br />
“I find that life as a working mother is made of a very delicate balance. So many different things need to work out to make the whole picture pleasant! Being a mother is not enough for me. I need to be fulfilled <br />
in so many other aspects of life and that’s often hard to achieve.<br />
 <br />
Geneva, January 2014<br />
 <br />
Two years ago I lost my job. That's been the most shocking thing that happened to me in my adult life, since keeping that balance is even more <br />
of a struggle than before. I'm now working in free-lance mode, which is very time and energy consuming and at times it doesn't leave time for anything else.”<br />
 <br />
Geneva, February 2017
    Laura.jpg
  • Oksana, Ukraine<br />
<br />
Historian, academic<br />
Italian husband<br />
Mother of a 3-year-old boy<br />
 <br />
“Back in Ukraine I studied International Relations and first came to Geneva for internships at the Ukrainian mission to the UN. I continued with my Master’s and then the PhD and met my husband in Geneva. It has been 14 years now. One needs to be embedded in the local culture to have a sense of home because the feeling that you don’t belong anywhere doesn’t help in life. My children’s home is here. For me Geneva cannot be home entirely because part of my heart is somewhere else and it’s normal for people who migrate and leave their own countries. I will always have this complex identity, which integrates some new local features and keeps some of the old.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, May 2015
    Oksana.jpg
  • Veronica, Italy<br />
<br />
Human rights specialist<br />
Italian Partner <br />
Mother of a 11-year-old girl and a 9-year-old boy <br />
 <br />
“I came to Geneva when I was working on my thesis in international law. I then left to Bosnia and Kosovo for work. When the war broke out in Kosovo, I was evacuated and came to visit friends in Geneva. I passed by the office and was offered my dream job! Of course I wished for my husband to join me here, but I never insisted. I knew he had his own dreams to follow. When he finally decided to try living in Geneva, he had to learn French and improve his English. It took him about a year to find a job in his field. It was tough, but we are both settled now.”<br />
 <br />
Geneva, March 2015<br />
 <br />
 
    Veronica.jpg
  • Stéphanie, Germany<br />
<br />
Medical doctor, <br />
Mother of three, 10, 8 and 6 years-old<br />
 <br />
“Being a working expatriate, mothering and educating my children in a foreign country is a big strain and sometimes runs against my wishes and values.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2017
    Stephanie.jpg
  • Tom, USA<br />
<br />
Hollywood Script Reader and Evaluator, Free Lance Editor, now Full Time Dad<br />
American partner<br />
Father of two daughters, ages 5 and 3-years-old <br />
 <br />
“At the moment I look after my two girls. I have two young girls and I run a small household. I’m not fully embracing that idea of not working, <br />
but then again that’s superstitious. It’s real life experience, it’s the best expenditure of time that you can do, because you’re raising human beings, you’re bringing human beings into the world, you’re giving somebody else <br />
a chance, I can’t think of anything that’s more important. <br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2013<br />
 <br />
I have seen an increasing number of men come into this role, but more importantly, I find I have more in common with primary caregiver parents in general, regardless of gender, and therefore have found much of the support and understanding that I need.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2017
    Tom.jpg
  • Emilie, France/China <br />
<br />
Conference interpreter<br />
Separated<br />
Mother of a 6-year-old girl<br />
 <br />
“I did part of my studies in France and worked there as a freelancer for <br />
a decade. Then I went back to China where I passed a competitive global exam organized by the UN and when they had a vacancy they offered me <br />
a position in Geneva. <br />
We adopted our daughter from China. It was planned, however, we did not know when we would get her, to the point that I couldn’t sign up for the crèche the way you do when you get pregnant. When she finally joined us here, the adoption leave I could take was only half the time of the maternity leave, which I thought was very short, since an adopted child needs time to adjust to the new family and environment. Luckily my daughter adapted rather well.”<br />
 <br />
Geneva, April 2015
    Emilie.jpg
  • Sita, Germany<br />
<br />
UN humanitarian worker <br />
German partner<br />
Mother of three children, ages 8, 6 and 4-years-old<br />
 <br />
“If I were asked, I would say that my children and my family were my priorities in life, but I would probably be deceiving myself a little. Work is <br />
a big part of my life and if I think about my and my family’s day-to-day schedule, my life is shaped by it. It also takes a lot of my thinking. Sometimes I work at weekends and I could, of course, decide not to, but <br />
I feel I have to and so I do! I would like to influence my children’s world view more by just spending more time with them on a daily basis. That’s one <br />
of the things I feel I’m possibly missing out on.”<br />
 <br />
Geneva, December 2016
    Sita.jpg
  • Lucia, Italy<br />
<br />
Lawyer<br />
German-French partner<br />
Mother of two boys, ages 9 and 6-years-old<br />
 <br />
“I was in a long-distance relationship for two years and when I was expecting our first child, my partner and I thought it was better to reunite the family in Geneva. My partner was sure I would find a similar position here, so I resigned, but I am still looking for that job! I have had to reinvent myself professionally several times and as a result my work does not always reflect my profile and expectations. That said, I prefer to struggle to find a balance between work and other aspects of my life than not to work at all in order to have the freedom to make my own choices.”<br />
<br />
Geneva, February 2014
    Lucia.jpg
  • Naïma, Algeria-France<br />
<br />
Economist <br />
French partner<br />
Mother of a 9 year-old girl and a 2 year-old boy<br />
 <br />
“I have worked for an international organization in Geneva for five years. Before that I lived in different countries in Africa and Asia and worked for various international cooperation organisations and agencies. I have always tried to combine my professional objectives with my family life. <br />
My parents, especially my father, taught me these values by sharing stories and novels about women’s working and living conditions around the world. It opened my eyes to women’s rights very early on, to the importance of keeping these rights at every level and on every step of our private and social lives, and to the fact that a “better world cannot be built without gender equity”.”<br />
 <br />
Geneva, April 2014
    Naima.jpg
  • Marcella, Italy<br />
<br />
UN Human rights specialist<br />
French-Cameroonian partner<br />
Mother of two girls, ages 8 and 6-years-old<br />
 <br />
“I moved to Geneva in order to put the children to a safe environment. We were both working at the UN peacekeeping mission in Congo when my first daughter was born. It never crossed my mind to give up my job or even change it. It was more a question of finding a reliable nanny and making sure the baby didn’t contract malaria... but when the fighting broke out <br />
in Kinshasa, as a parent, I came to realise I could no longer work there. Coming here meant that we are now living in two different places, as my husband stayed in Congo. It was not the original plan, we were supposed <br />
to find jobs in the same place, but it is taking longer than expected.”<br />
  <br />
Geneva, May 2014
    Marcella.jpg
  •  <br />
Marina, Italy <br />
Freelance photographer<br />
Italian partner <br />
Mother of a 7-year-old girl and twin 5-year-old boys <br />
<br />
“Mothering means a lot of work but in the sense it has to do with building human relations and sharing your life with other people. As I made the choice to live as a couple and have children I knew that a lot of my time would be spent with these people. Identity evolves with motherhood. Once that has happened, I felt like I had lost the old self of mine and I had to create a new one for my new life. I can no longer freely choose what I want to do, nor where or when I want to do it. I need to be constantly “disponibile” - in other words, psychologically and physically available <br />
to others.”<br />
 <br />
Geneva, February 2013
    Marina.jpg
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