James
UK
EDUCATION BUSINESS PARTNER, UNIVERSITY OF EXETER
BRITISH WIFE
FATHER OF ONE BOY (2), FATHER-TO-BE TO A NEW-BORN
When my wife went back to work about seven months after our son was born, I took thirteen weeks of parental leave full-time (albeit on zero pay) to look after Ben. It was incredible being in his little world for that space of time. That said, I feel that at the moment it’s not yet expected of fathers to do so. When I tell my fellow dads about what my experience of being on parental leave was like and what I’d get up to, they recognise that it sounds amazing, but for all sorts of reasons few dads get to do it. Socially I found it a little odd... In most of the midweek classes I went to with Ben, I was the only dad in the room. Although everyone is really welcoming, I’d get that sort of thing like: “Where’s mum today?” I’d have to remind myself that I had the right to be there.
A lot of the sessions that take place during the week are called ‘mother and child’ groups, so it sometimes felt a little alienating for a dad to attend. But that culture is certainly changing.
